Brian Little is vice president and global head of corporate human resources for Intel. He previously served in senior human resources roles at companies including Ameritech, Amoco, and Zurich Insurance, and was recognized in 2017 by the industry magazine HRO Today as its for-profit Chief Human Resources Officer of the Year.
Throughout his career, Brian has helped people identify and develop their strengths and development needs, promoted diversity and inclusion, and facilitated executive coaching and team building. For their leadership in the corporate world and social responsibility, he and his wife, Anise Wiley-Little, received the National Eagle Leadership Institute’s prestigious Eagle Award.
I’m delighted to share the personal memory he recounted in our conversation on June 23, 2023. The following story — along with many of Brian’s insights about the importance and skill of asking — is featured in my forthcoming book, The Big Ask.
I grew up in Peoria, Illinois, a hardworking blue-collar city. People didn’t really ask that much. It was kind of the opposite – put your head down, work hard, do your best, and maybe someone will notice you.
But I was fortunate to have some role models that were different. I had my older brother, James, a very confident guy. And he would help me find things to do that put me out of my comfort zone. Big brothers do that –Let ‘em sweat a little bit!
I was 13 and wanted to buy some Converse gym shoes. I went to my dad and said, “Hey, I’d love to have some Converse shoes!”
And he said, “Sounds great. You should go out and buy them.”
It was clear he wasn’t going to buy them for me, because he figured I didn’t need another pair.
My brother told me I should go out and get a job, but I said I don’t know if I can get a job at 13.
And he said, “Well, make one for yourself.”
So, late that summer I went to try to get opportunities to cut neighbors’ yards. My father was a big yard-cutter type guy. Our lawn was always immaculate. It looked like a golf course. So, I picked up on how to do that from him, and he allowed me to use the equipment. I knocked on a whole bunch of doors that summer, but I was a horrible salesperson.
Every single person told me no.
My brother teased me like there was no tomorrow: “You need to practice or give it up!” That motivated me to practice for the next summer. I got in the mirror. Practiced my pitch. And he’d come by from time to time and say, “That’s awful, you’re still gonna be broke!” Until one day he said, “You know … you’re actually getting a little better.”
When the next summer came, I went out early because I wanted to be first.
I decided to go to a neighborhood that was bigger than ours. And the first house I saw had a big lawn. It was an unusually hot day, and the woman of the house was outside looking at her husband who was trying to get the lawnmower started and he was sweating bullets. They both looked miserable. And I walked up to her and said,
“How would you like to have your summer back?”
She said, “What?”
I said, “Your summer, wouldn’t you like to have it back? I can take care of this lawn and I guarantee that you’re gonna love it or it’s free.”
She looked at her husband and said, “Great! When can you start?”
I started that day.
I kept getting more lawns and got to the point where I had too many lawns. Then I hired some of my friends, subcontracting to them. I remember riding my bike over to the sporting goods store. I didn’t really like the guy who owned it (he didn’t like kids very much). I pointed to the shoes I wanted and he brought them over.
And then something clicked inside my head. I said,
“You know what? I want every color.”
It was collection day, so I pulled out all this money — a ton of cash — put it on the table, and said, “And send it to my house, because I’m on a bike.”
Later, this truck rolled up to the house and delivered all these shoes!
Before I’d approached that first couple, I had five or six ready quips I was going to use. Some were really corny. But the effectiveness was in the delivery, not just the words themselves.
By asking, I was able to build a little confidence. It made me feel like I had more control, and that’s what it comes down to for me: Do I want to be controlled or have control?
There are so many things that control our lives — we’re on the clock, we’ve got to do this and that — and at times we don’t feel we have any freedom at all. But that summer I learned I could create my own space. And it helped me become more confident in asking for what I wanted.
During our conversation, I asked Brian his thoughts on what it takes to ask successfully. He shared several perspectives, but I’ll leave you with this one:
“When asking What do I really want? we need to be thoughtful and introspective. It’s not about getting what you want at the expense of other people, because that will eventually turn on you and hurt you. It’s getting what you want in a way that helps or inspires or engages others too. That’s going to help you get what you want faster.”
Cover image/ banner photo by Thuan Pham on Unsplash.
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His “Asks” Led to Apple Acquisition
Cynthia Barnes: Becoming 2x Confident, 2x Strong
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