When it comes to making requests, we’re most persuasive face to face.

Even when asking something of someone we don’t know, we’re 34 times more likely to get a yes in person than by email (phone calls are the next most persuasive). Trouble is, in the worlds of work and networking, in-person requests aren’t always possible or practical.

How, then, to improve the success of a written request?

Consider the 10 points below to make your online requests more effective. Naturally, these guidelines won’t suit every situation; fundraising, sales, and marketing organizations, for example, may have specific email protocols. Always let your knowledge of your audience determine what you say and how you say it. 

1. Put the request in the subject line. A subject header with a request gets attention.

“Please review proposal by 10/9.”

“TJ, need budgeting help.”

“Question on web copy.”

“Join us for Thanksgiving?”

“Requesting your story outline.”

“Ezra, an unusual request.”

2. Open and close with the request. If the email is longer than a paragraph, ask twice, once at the open: “Hi Jay: Please have a look at the three recommendations (below) we’re making to the Board and let me know by Friday if you have concerns” and again at the close: “So that we have time to consider any changes, please send me any concerns by Friday.” 

3. Flag multiple questions. People tend to scan, not read, emails. Ask more than one question and they’re likely to answer only the first. So, alert them to multiple questions upfront: “I’ve got (x number of) questions for you” – and then number or bullet those questions for them. I once got an email from a colleague with the subject header, “Paul, 3 magical questions for you.” They were anything but magical, but her request got my attention, and I answered all three!

4. Set deadlines. If you need it tomorrow, don’t ask “When can you send me the file?” or “Please send soon.” State clearly when you need a response or results. When asking personal favors, it can feel awkward to give a deadline—“Would you read my novel and write a flattering review by noon next Thursday?”—and yet, setting parameters helps them help you. 

5. Ease up, Commander. Depending on your relationship to the recipient, a snap-to-it like, “Send me your meeting notes,” could make them feel like an order-taker. To soften it, you can add “please” and a reason for the action, such as, “So that I’m prepared for tomorrow’s conference call, please (or would you) send me your meeting notes today – thanks.”

6. Hold the scold. When clients or other high-ranking folks don’t respond to your emails, retaliating with “Well, evidently my emails didn’t merit a response from you” – isn’t an option! Give them the benefit of the doubt, and keep it polite: “I’m following up on the email I sent you last week. Have you had a chance to (consider my request, review what I sent you, write the recommendation letter, etc.)?” Or pick up the phone and call them.

7. Ask to attach. Sending hyperlinks or attachments to someone you don’t know well and who’s not expecting them, can come across as risky (from the security end of it) and pushy – as if you expect them to read and respond to it. Better to ask their permission first. “Enjoyed meeting you at the NAFA conference, Nathan. I have a white paper on fleet management you might find worthwhile. Shall I send it?” If Nathan consents, the sender has created a second touchpoint to build the relationship. 

8. Thank them in advance. End the email with a thank-you that makes it clear you don’t assume their consent. “Thanks for considering my request.” “I’d appreciate any guidance you might be willing to give me on this – thanks.” “Thank you for your time and attention to this request.” “Please let me know if you’re able to assist with this. Thanks.”

9. Avoid wide-net requests. Asking a group, “Could anybody show me how to rescale the segment fractals on the D405 Optimator?” means you’ll be figuring out those fractals on your own. Studies show that recipients of group emails assume that others will answer the call. Better to ask one person. If you ask two people, email each one separately.

10. Separate the personal from business. Avoid combining personal messages with work-related requests: “Sorry to hear about your car wreck. Yikes! Could you send me your feedback on the docs I sent? Thx!”

“I changed the way I asked for things in emails. I used to soften my requests with exclamation points and smiley faces. I still use please and thank you, but I don’t waffle around because the point can get lost and the outcome muddled.”

Hadley Jaeger, public works employee

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Photo by Glenn Carstens-Peters on Unsplash

Paul Quinn is the author of The Big Ask.