What if you could direct your imagination to “put on” a new perspective aligned with the reality you wish to create? This is the first of two posts about using affirmations and visualizations, respectively, in effective ways. In this one, we’ll focus on affirmations as a potentially transformative tool for thinking and feeling your way to the outcome you want – whether it involves one ask, many, or none.

According to the National Science Foundation, 80 percent of our thoughts (the things we tell ourselves and the internal images we create) are negative, and 95 percent are repetitive. How dreary is that!? Our fears and doubts may be so familiar that we don’t even notice how firmly they’ve taken root in our consciousness. But daily affirmations and visualizations, though not a cure-all, invite us to choose the thoughts to which we give our power. Thought mastery is self-mastery. 

Positive self-talk, also known as affirmations, is one path to self-mastery. It’s a way to “seed and grow” the beliefs that support your intentions. Spoken with an authentic commitment to change, affirmations have been shown to improve performance, education, health, and relationship outcomes. 

Whatever you wish to affirm, begin it with the declaration, “I am.” I am statements are powerful because they reinforce what you believe (or are now choosing to believe) to be true about yourself in relation to your desired outcome. 

FEEL IT NOW 

Notice that all the examples below contain at least one word that conveys the feeling of the affirmed reality and a present tense action word (verb) ending in ing – as if it’s already yours:

I am grateful for the moneymaking opportunities pouring into my life.

I am delighted to be joining the advisory team.

I am excited about the confidence I’m gaining in trigonometry.

I am lovingly allowing my son to make his own choices.

Whatever reality you want to plug into, feel it in the present moment, to complete the circuit. It does no good to robotically repeat an affirmation. If it’s worth saying, say it aloud, with oomph.

Allow yourself to feel the full appreciation, joy, passion, love, delight, fun, pride, or exhilaration you’d feel if that moment were happening right now.

If you feel fretful or desperate as you speak it — I need to do my affirmation three times before bed or I’ll never get what I want! — hit the pause button. Affirmations are anxiety-free zones, a sanctuary of ease and peace. Take a few deep breaths, start again, and focus on the positive feeling. 

KEEP IT BRIEF

Details aren’t vital in every affirmation. But when they are, keep them brief so they’re easy to remember and speak:

I am celebrating my new research position at ABC, Inc.

I am loving my discipline, my diet, and being ten pounds lighter.

I am grateful to be working from home on Mondays and Wednesdays. 

I am savoring the beauty of our new lakeside home in Fish Creek, Wisconsin.

Speak for yourself. “I am confidently making her fall in love with me” is controlling and creepy (presumably she will have some say in it!), but “I am loving myself, loving her, and loving our time together” affirms your own power to show up in the most attractive way. 

Keep it positive. “I am not going to do the social stuff I hate” reinforces frustration. But “I am enjoying the freedom of choosing how I spend my time” affirms the fruition of what you want. 

Move with it. Experiment with adding a physical gesture or movement that expresses the feeling — fist pumps, head nods, expansive gestures, a power stance, or, at the opposite end, a meditative stillness. 

Enlist a friend. Consider asking a close friend or loved one to support you in your intention. After you say your affirmation, have them repeat it back to you with equal conviction: 

You: I am feeling calm and grounded asking for my family’s support. 

Them: You ARE calm and grounded asking for your family’s support.

Julia Cameron, author of The Artists’ Way, calls such allies our “believing mirrors,” those who reflect and encourage our strength and possibility. If you’re lucky enough to have someone who’s willing to be that Believing Mirror for you, offer to do the same for them sometime. Or, better yet, just be the kind of person to whom it’s second nature to call out the best in others, asked or not.

“WHY IS IT SO EASY?”

Some folks approach their inner work with a warrior’s intensity. They diligently scan the “field within” for hostile forces (the voices of apathy, doubt, despair), attempt to forcefully subdue them, and proceed on-mission. There’s certainly nothing wrong with a martial strategy (if it works). But there’s an alternative to this purely willful approach. And it takes a bit of bounce. In place of the usual “I am” statements, you affirm what you want in the form of the question, Why is it so easy?

Why is it so easy to get the help I’m asking for?

Why is it so easy to ask for the sale?

Why is it so easy to work out this issue with the bank?

Why is it so easy to see the goodness in this person?

Why is it so easy to feel so at home here? 

As in the “I am” affirmations, the feeling you bring to Why is it so easy? matters. And the most effective way to ask such a breezy question may be with a mixture of amusement, joy, gratitude, and relief. After all, you’re claiming the happy outcome as inevitable.  Get your body as relaxed as possible as you ask the question. Gesture casually. Shrug. Shake your head in amazement at how easy you’ve got it. Go ahead — humor yourself! 

If the serious and controlling part of you resists such a silly exercise, give it a playful poke. Ask, Why is it so easy to do such a silly exercise and get such great results?

In the next post, we’ll look at using the power of imagination and visualization to reinforce your affirmations, creating a compelling “movie” of the reality you intend to manifest.

“The words you speak become the house you live in.”  – Hafiz

Photo by Mohamed Nohassi on Unsplash

Paul Quinn is the author of a forthcoming book about the importance of asking in life, The Big Ask.